It flashed all to my mind while I was playing osu! today, exactly while I was playing the beatmap of
this very nice song. That was the point where I realised some things:
1)Nothing is impossible, and to counter the color-out-of-spectrum argument I know approximately how those colors are displayed to our eyes. You've got to believe and it can happen. If you waver, things may go wrong. That's the way of life.
2) Weaknesses aren't supposed to be accepted, they're supposed to be fought away. (This includes fears/phobias.) I should stop being so lazy and do something about my hold-backness in real life and also my physical condition - I clearly lack some iron and also some exercise.
3) The color of emotions is vague. They can be good, they can be bad. You should learn to control them, or you'll end up with clinical mental disorders. As far from what I experience, the layer between common and clinical isn't that big. A few days ago I was at a state where I desired proffesional help. But I think I can come over my disordered mentality myself. No one else can smash my own problems against the wall and tell them to stop, no matter how close to me (s)he is, no matter how related to them (s)he is (because if it are my thoughts about them, it can easily be repeated unless I do something. And if action from his/her side to problem solving is required, it's no longer just my problem). Clench teeth, get through it. One friend told me a few days ago I should learn to control my emotions, and I thought that'd be too impossible. But then again, read point 1. It's fine to love who your heart chooses for you, it's fine to befriend who you find symphatic. If you really desire something, fight for it, but once you cry how impossible it is, you'll risk never achieveing it. Then again, you can't force others for that. Some patience may be necessary at times.
Then again I forget a lot, I remember stuff I really don't need to remember clearly, but forget stuff I want to not forget. Like spending less time on the computer lol~
